Unraveling polarities – A group practice

This works best with two leaders that have either done the practice several times before, or who at least feel comfortable and confident holding the space for the rest of the group. These two will hold the initial polarity, and will discover the subtle openings that always exist if the group gets stuck.

First a polarity is chosen. It should be broad enough that everyone in the group has a relationship with both sides of it. For example success/failure can be interesting to explore, but it is also something that some people have no relationship with.  If you don’t know the group ahead of time, it will be worth having a discussion first to make sure you choose something that resonates with each person present.

For our purposes here, I will use control/freedom. One of the helpful things about using a polarity that is central to the human experiment is that both sides of the relationship have a lot of energy. We have strong experiences of both controlling and being controlled, of experiencing our own freedom and experiencing the freedom of others.

This works best in a location that is both private and big enough for the group to move around. The first two take positions opposite each other, with the line that runs through them crossing the room at its widest. Each is about a quarter of the width from the wall (or boundary of the included space if this is in a very large room or outside), and half the width for each other.

Each speaks for the pole that they hold to set up the starting energy. Control might talk about laws and civilization and protecting the vulnerable. Freedom might talk about art and expression and new life. The particular words do not matter. What is critical is that each person invites in the energy they are holding and speak clearly and openly from that space. We are creating a living mandala in the space, and the most important aspect is allowing that basic light and intelligence to express itself through us.

Then allow time for the group to settle into the space. With a group that is used to doing this sort of exploration it might only take a minute or two. With others it will take longer, but probably not more than fifteen minutes.

Then, one by one, each member of the group steps into the middle and speaks the energy they are holding. The only requirements here are that it is someone who holds real energy for the person holding it, and that it has a relationship with both ends of the polarity being explored.

Most powerful generally is when someone chooses themselves. “I am myself worrying about my spouse’s fidelity (control relating to freedom of other)” or “I am myself feeling stifled and unable to be creative at work (other’s control relating to freedom of self)”.

It also works to choose other actual people, “I choose my grandfather who never could do what he wanted in a new country”, or a representative person, “I am a third world mother with no ability to control whether my children get enough food to eat.” In these cases the two holding the polarity (or a third if there is someone holding space for the whole process) will need to make sure the person choosing someone other than themselves sticks to the perspective they have chosen. When someone shifts in and out of their chosen perspective (grandfather, etc.) and their own perspective, the energy of their contribution quickly dissipates.

When they have spoken their perspective and a short description of how they relate to each pole, they pause for thirty seconds then move to the part of the room that feels most balanced for them at the moment. This will be familiar to those who have worked with the family constellation practice.

When each person has spoken their person and their relationships with the two poles, the unwinding begins. This can happen in the same order that people entered the space, or by people expressing inspiration when it arises. Feel into the group and choose the approach that feels the most alive and explain this to the group before getting started. The only requirement is that only one person moves at a time.

When first entering the space, each person moved to the part of the room where they felt most in balance. This is helpful to create a coherent configuration to begin with, but the rest of the unfolding will be driven by interest and desire. The first person in this next stage moves to the place they are most drawn, speaking their move if words arise with the movement.

This continues person by person and you will notice that each move changes the space. The poles can move, too (and this will often be the most powerful pulses into the space), but should stay still for the first couple passes through the group. This will allow the group members to merge with the flow before the shape of the basic space itself changes.

If the group gets stuck, the two holding the poles (or the third holding general space if there is one) feel for openings. This might come as a question to one of the members, “how do you feel about … now?”, a subtle movement (sitting or standing, for example), or a statement to the other pole. This is a very sensitive step. It is very helpful to tease open movement if there is more ready to arise, but very important not to push. The energy of the group will find its natural ending for that time, and it is critical to honor that.

It may happen that the two poles come together naturally from the flow of the group. This creates a sort of dimensional doorway where the consciousness of each member of the group is drawn to the level of consciousness where the polarity being explored is realized as expressions of the same unity.

This is why it is so important not to push. The unity will arise in the space naturally only if each person’s true answer then is yes. It can be tempting when close to push that last little distance, human spirituality is far more materialistic than we often acknowledge, but this is a clear and strong violation of the consciousness of another. Leading this practice you accept the role of sacred guardian and need to be able to stop at the gates of heaven if need be to not push anyone a single inch beyond where they freely choose at the moment.

Allow time after the practice for everyone to reintegrate with their life, especially if people have to drive home. Again, this depends on the group, but I suggest between a half hour and an hour.